A Friendly Post
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A workmate of mine once commended me for being very friendly. He also warned me about that: “not everyone is a friend.”
Well, every human being has a need and a desire for friends, as we are all social beings. Having said that, we all have our set of friends and has a standard for what makes good friends, with all the hopes that what we really make are really good one. Friendship is vital for any human to experience meaning.
So in my vast array of friendships, here are among them: the friends the good Lord gave me.
1. Cris Figueroa. He is the first one I came to know in class. I was absent during the first day of classes due to a wedding, and so when I came the second meeting with a crazy digestion system on the way and there were no classes but only a take home activity, luckily, Chris was staying in the room. Because of that, he was the person I got to ask about the first meeting and about the take home assignment. He was warm and helpful so basically he was the first one to help me in class.
2. The M2M (Mheann Bitara and Marla Socorro). These two girls were the seatmates seated at my back. I met them and got to work with them at the group work we had about the issue “should teachers possess a gun?” After that, we got to have chances to have small talks which I appreciate on a tiring Saturday morning.
They have been good friends to me because they are approachable, warm and kind – which I do appreciate. They are just so kind and have a “cute” personality, as I like to call it.
For me, people with a “cute personality” are the people who are just naturally bubbly, warm, approachable, friendly and uncritical of others. They are concerned of others and being concerned is a natural tendency of them. They just naturally offer help to those they know without asking for anything in return. Kindness is a natural tendency of theirs. To add up, a quiet life without much fuss is something that they prefer. These are the character traits that I have observed from Chris, Meann, and Marla. I appreciate people of their kind and I am naturally drawn to them, which I thank the whole universe for.
The three of them have become classmates whom I can call as friends because they are the very few people in class whom I have known quite well, read quite well, and have good talks after class. Exchanges of life experiences and ideas are all vital for me, so being able to find people who naturally connect with me is something that I automatically call a friend. They also have helped me in small, unique ways voluntarily which was both a shock and a surprise to me – whenever I get late or I am absent! My most appreciated moment was when my stomach got bad, I came so very late to class that it’s already dismissed, and when I opened my messenger to ask about what happened and what the assignments were, there were Mheann’s notes already sent to me with some of her instructions. She also did not ask for anything in return. WOW! Best friendship award in EDFD 247 for year 2018!
I have been gifted with so much friends and I must admit it, friendship is something which I value highly (almost next to family and education).
As I think about it, the common qualities of all of my friends is the value I value highly above all else aside from Godliness – it’s authenticity, sincerity and truthfulness. Not all of my friends are Godly, not all of them are achievers or responsible people, not all of them are generally nice people(well, they are nice to me) BUT they are true to others and true to themselves. They are authentic people.
If there would be a quote that each of my friends can embody in their own, unique ways, it is this quote:
“COURAGE (cour) = to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. THE COURAGE TO BE IMPERFECT. What makes me vulnerable makes me beautiful. The way to live is not to control and predict but it is to be vulnerable.
VULNERABILITY IS THE MOST ACCURATE MEASURE OF COURAGE.” (Brown, 2011)
These are my friends. They are honest about who they really are. They do not wear glittered masks; they show their faces and wear their scars or imperfections gracefully. No questions asked, we can be who we are, be accepted, and be loved even though, in our company. Nevertheless and despite of that, respect for each other – for each other’s belief, convictions and weaknesses—remain an essential part of equation. Of course we get along the way and intervene if a belief or a weakness may be causing others or our selves harm.
So yes, a common quality all of my friends have is the courage to be an authentic person (true to himself and true to others), sincerely good, accepting and honest of their own weaknesses and imperfections so they are also accepting and tolerant of others’ waterloo, and not judgmental of others as well (unless the person to be judged has extreme character and sanity issues that we need to be cautious of). I greatly dislike people who think and regard themselves so highly—and all of my friends do not have space to be friends with those kinds of people too.
In general, I do not have requirement in making friends nor people should win my friendship (I am not a TV game show haha) but the basic ones: be SINCERELY GOOD. I generally make friends easily. What’s the fuss for being so cautious about people? Some people read others intensively before making a decision whether to make friends with that person or not. That was never in my personality. In the realm of friendship, I take emotional risks. I go out on a limb and I trust others though that is risky because it means I make myself vulnerable by giving people my trust. However, I am pretty fine with it. I would not judge a person unless a person proves otherwise that he/she is not worthy of that trust. The pass which I so easily give to people will easily be withdrawn from a person who have proven his/her character to me and have proven that he/she is not to be trusted or befriended.
For me, friendship just happens spontaneously. Brains and hearts meet and if it is of the same wave length, it jives! Friendship created. Respect of one’s boundaries is very important for me and for all of my friends too, and the sincerity of the friendship that one must be willing to correct and be corrected when necessary. So there, as long as the friendship lies on truthfulness to one another and mutual respect, and the friendship revolves on influencing each other positively regardless of how different we are or how different our priorities in life are, it’s a friendship that will survive the test of times.
Source/s:
Brene Brown. “TED Talks: The Power of Vulnerability” from You Tube ( https://youtu.be/iEPbkvhPuRk) on September 18, 2012. Accessed on May 17, 2018.
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