Gabi-gabi plant | Caladium | Heart of Christ

 

Gabi-Gabi plant or Caladium (that found its way in our roofed Garden!)

              On Thursday late night, I found a new plant in our garden sitting in one of our old pots, sharing space with the big plant in it. I usually just see this plant on display in malls as a plastic replica AND NOW here it is, alive and thriving right in our garden! (I have never seen one real, alive plant of this sort in our neighborhood as well ever). Where did this adorable plant come from? Did the seeds fly from the air, reached our roofed garden then fell on that pot? Did pollination cause this plant to literally reach our soil? Nah never mind because what is important is oh I found MY BABY! Such much surprise!

              However, due to the (I find) overwhelming nature of my job - and yes, it is overwhelming - and to my major triggers pulled active that I have been dealing with, I rarely remember the delight and excitement that this wonderful Gabi-gabi plant (also called Caladium) gave me. Nonetheless, this indoor plant (to my surprise (as I've always wanted a good indoor plant for our indoor garden!)) never cease to make me smile whenever I go out of the garden and look at it/see it (OH MY BABY BABY). This baby has brought me so much delight, indeed.

              I have been being hopeless/helpless with my [longest] personal battle with feelings of tiredness and anger of different sorts. The repeating cycle of abuse right in the immediate family wears me out, the lack of knowledge and acknowledgement (or denial) of its reality through the years by these people surrounding me felt like a vacuum, being stuck here with these same toxic patterns because of the pandemic felt like a blackhole sucking me in. But as usual, I need to survive and I need to be well again. Sooo oh it's a Sunday afternoon and therefore of course I stopped from all the pending works/demands/responsibilities of teaching and I cried out to the Lord (that was a really good cry BTW!). As I cried out to God, I remembered my adorable baby Caladium -- oh so cute and oh so beeeeautiful! (I also remembered my yesterday's newly-bought baby plants that I was finally able to buy and enjoy). Then, as I was crying out to God, I kept seeing in my mind this scene - the One who placed my new baby Caladium plant right where it is and made it thrive there ~

The reason why the Caladium plant found its way here : #Comfort

                       I got it. In God's infinite grace and mercy, He made sure that I will feel un-alone during these times that I am most vulnerable. When I am angry, I tend to shun off everyone to be hidden and alone but God in His grace made the Promise "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Deuteronomy 31:6) obvious to my otherwise blinded and embittered heart. I'm just tired; but He never gets tired ever. That's my anchor I should remember.

                          I understood it better. God in His infinite grace and mercy made sure to capture me right on time because He knows that I, being so hurt and angry this way with all the same things over again, could potentially bring me back the apostastic way I led years ago. 

                         There's actually nothing I can be proud of myself or of my life right now. I have not started discipling still nor my family has encountered breakthrough even though everyone's technically a Christian already, and my rebellion and unbelief springs forth greatly from my embittered heart YET God's faithfulness springs greater and unchanging. This is my only anchor.

                         And oh, do you also know that the Gabi-gabi plant or Caladium is also called Heart of Jesus? 😊


***

                        This wonderful sister-in-Christ (who loves me and cares about me 😭) gave me a virtual hug late this afternoon - the God-sent hug I've always wanted and needed. 💜

Leftmost: Achii Chona (IMY)

                          Remembering and really appreciating it just now too, here's a SNAIL-mailed 1 A.M. companion from God yesterday night as I finished checking a set of papers. 


                              “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” 
(Hebrews 13:5, MSG)

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