#Throwback: my joy-filled struggles as a SPED practicumer

Guess who this special person in my life is :) (you'll soon find out!)

Teaching the SpEd way had been a whole new world to me. Wait, before I proceed to the meat of my story about this, let me first give you an appetizer to begin with.

I have been a schoolteacher for four years in the secondary level right after I graduated college. In my first two years of teaching, I handled high-school students in the progressive set-up—meaning, some of them are high-functioning special needs students in the mainstream program. That was my very first exposure to special needs learners and Special Education. My next 2 years of teaching experience was spent in an exclusive school for boys where my executive skills (time management, classroom management, and the like) were trained and tested. These are all where the skills I need to survive the SpEd classroom for practicum will be coming from.

My special anaks (special, figuratively) :)
And I'm there special nanay :P (now that might mean literally hehe)

Three years after leaving the fulltime schoolteacher career in exchange of intervention services in Filipino and Reading and some tutorials and shadow teaching (which are all more workable options for me) while taking up my coursework subjects in the Masters degree, I entered this whole new world which is the SpEd classroom and legit SpEd teaching that includes, of course, the practicum – which I did in 2 schools.

In my first school , I got to practice as a SpEd teacher daily as I teach Filipino and H.E.L.E. subjects to Transition 5 students (these students are adults aged 18-28 years old). There were no major behavior-emotional problems. They were all cooperative and functional, just struggling to retain basic concepts and understand basic mathematical and reading comprehension problems. This is where my struggles and greatest learning came from. Worksheets, assessments, Visual Aids and Instructional materials have to be done almost daily as the lessons I had to teach were given weekly. The nitty-gritty of preparing Instructional materials that can cater to learners with different disabilities and needs and assessments that are in-line with what is expected of them vis-à-vis within their cognitive abilities, and making the work efficient because I was still adjusting to 2 practicum schools, 2 subjects, work on the sides, a full loaded semester, and the newness and complexities of the Special Education classroom and dynamics – which are quite foreign with the regular classroom.

The classroom's banner

As with this school, my first practicum school – the morning school—I can say that I did my best. However, my training was not sufficient enough to be able to do the daily classroom teaching coupled with the regular, tedious lesson preparation ideally. There were many times that I came in late for the call time, just minutes before the start of my first subject. There were also times that I got delayed with the lessons. It was all because of In this set-up and training, I was stuck in the survival stage of the teaching career.

Stories will always be a part of the class :)

How to Spend Money Wisely
( I did my best to teach them how)

GRAND DEMO TEACHING
Household Tools and Housecleaning
(I did my best to teach them how)

Let me know talk about my 2^nd school (ALRES ❤ ). The challenges and points of growth that I have encountered in this school were much different from my first school. Here, my main role was not to be a daily lead teacher in the classroom. Hence, I mostly functioned as a shadow teacher/ assistant teacher. Preparation of instructional materials and lesson content and delivery were not so much of a challenge as the learners involved only need very basic life-skills lessons. What challenged me most in this school that contributed to my growth in the SpEd arena was mostly the Emotional-Behavioral struggles of the students.

The best classroom set-up I believe I have ever made :)

Trying my best to be like one real SpEd classroom teacher :P

I was assigned to be with the section that, let's say, is z most action packed, not boring at all. Going to the gym and investing on fitness class are all a wise decision. The classroom eexeprience itself, at times, will make you stronger and wiser too. These students in the class are bigger than me and so occurrence of tantrums or at times meltdowns make my heart jump out in jumping ropes, most especially in the first weeks. I thank God for the lead teachers are experts in behavior modification techniques (BMT's). I have learned so much from the various disciplinary techniques employed from just the minor tantrums to the most terrifying meltdowns as I watch these teachers deal with those undesirable situations in the classroom.

Of course that is not what classroom is all about. Our class also have the smartest students in the school ;P . We enjoy them so much as they raise their hands up in the air to recite, and whenever they giggle in happiness as they can't wait to be involved in the lesson or to share their answers in the class. Such pure souls.

UST batch 2 practicumers who are as nice as the batch 1 practicumers
(They adopted me as their own and helped me a lot -- SO TOUCHED!)

You're ONE IN A MINION!
With some of the UST Batch 1 practicumers <3

On the transition from the first batch of UST practicumers towards the second batch of UST practicumers – thus there were only the lead teachers and I as the only practicumer – I assumed the role of being the shadow teacher of Andre. At that time, Andre grabs, scratches, pinches, cries out loud, lies on the floor and kicks, or desires to hurt just anyone in his frustration to go home already (which is a mystery to all of us). This can occur anytime of the day at school – a regular disruption the class experiences. Everyone, including Andre himself, was affected. Due to all of this, I decidec to take up the responsibility of being close with him (both literally and figuratively)-- because that is the closest need of the time-- in order to get to know him better. The remaining 3 months of my stay with Andre meant that I be by his side, be mindful of his mood, be aware of triggers and signs of escalation of tantrums to meltdowns, protect myself from him harming me, help the lead teachers by helping out with Andre, help him walk, help him sit down, help him eat, help him brush his teeth, help him do every activity, know his requests and address it, talk to him, have fun moments with him, discipline him and set boundaries, help the teachers or aides clean him up whenever he poops or his diaper leaks, hug him whenever he requests to be hugged.

But in reality, it was really Andre who helped me...

Applying what I have learned:
Trying the T.E.A.C.H. schedule chart for Andre

During those times, I have made up my mind that my goal for Andre is to help him cope up school by finding ways for him to enjoy his 4 to 5 – hour stay in school, without the self-harm or disruption of his tantrums/meltdowns. I kept asking his teachers the questions that might help me piece the answers to the puzzle of why his behavior has been that way. I also kept coordinating with his loving parents about how he has been at home for a day. Bridging the school-therapy-home context and knowing his condition were the ways I tried to find the reasons behind his anxious behavior, then I tried to formulate strategies – changing those constantly as the antecedent for Andre’s behavior was so hard to decode and the answer to effectively address his behavior was almost impossible to decode.

Happy Cotton Candies
(the blue one by yours truly :) )

By the grace of God, after 2 months of hardwork, Andre was able to come to school and go home without any harmful behavior at school. For weeks, during his last weeks in school, he just enjoyed the classroom. He can already control his tantrums, thus, no more meltdowns. Therefore in this school, I have experienced better the first stage (Pride) and third stage (Experimentation) of a teaching career more than the second stage (Survival).

The ever so amazing, committed, kind ALRES teachers <3

I am very thankful for Andre’s teachers who taught me a lot of strategies relevant for Andre’s situation so that I can help him improve his behavior. I thank that school that became my happy, supportive, positive learning place all throughout. I thank Andre’s parents too for being open with me, trusting me with their kid, and appreciating me and all of the teachers for our dedication. In this school, I may not have polished my skills as a classroom teacher for a SpEd class, but I can say that here, I have done my very best to serve a child with special needs, to serve a wonderful school, to serve such strong, loving parents. It is here that I can really say that I have been consumed with passion and dedication.

Bu in truth and in reality, it was Andre who actually helped me more than I helped him. He made me be the best version of myself -- not selfish but willing to serve, not lazy but persistent, not apathetic but purposeful, not burdened but hopeful and most especially, not just superficially happy but joy-filled. These are Andre's superpowers -- he put me out of my default, fleshly tendencies. He killed my of my greed and saved my from myself. Such an angel from above.❤

This practicum is definitely not an easy experience – it took so much energy and money out of me (hehe)—which made me gauge teaching in a much less idealistic, much more realistic stance—but this journey is so memorable that I will forever be thankful for the wonderful people, friends and kids I have met along the way. I know that my efforts and works are far from perfect (just to survive because I was just surviving), but I am sure that I did my best. My best may not be good enough, but God showed me His great mercy for my inadequacies and shortcomings, and this is enough for me.

Our heaven-sent angel went home with the Lord now. I will forever thank the Lord for letting me experience His touch through a wonderful angel like Andre. These words are an understatement to that. We miss him so much. ❤