The Most Difficult Boot Camp EVER

Would you believe that I am crying because of the internet? Internet is so slow that it's almost non-existent. I can't work. I mean, I CAN'T FIND WORK! Wala pa 'kong work and it's almost a month! I really worry. Also, I feel so sabog/hyper/tired because I havent slept well last night. Yet, I felt God just wanted me to stop, pray, talk to Him. So I'm crying because there's REALLY NO INTERNET.

I ask for dependence in Him, and here when He's giving me now what I ask for, para akong adik na may withdrawal symptoms. I have just realized how much of a control freak I am. I want anything but God, yet He wants me dearly despite of that fact that I push Him aside.

Then, a prayer emerged (despite of my sinfulness):
"Distract me with Yourself Lord, from everything and anything else that does not really matter. After all, You're our gracious Father. Never Ka nagkulang."

The training camp of trusting God, resting in Him, being still in Him in many ways, is I think, one of the most difficult training camp of life. Yet, it's the one thing we need. Christ is all we need. He will prove that He can be all and He can give us everything if He is the center of our world. That is IF we are willing to take the risk of removing our selves in the center of our lives and putting Him there-- in His rightful place.

Being still will always be both an art and a battle.

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